I feel sick every time I think about it. I lose sleep and I just don't know what to do anymore. I think I need to take some sleeping pills to aid me in my quest for rest. It's 2:01am.. I was sleepy/tired since 6:00pm. Just can't take it anymore. I wish things were way they used to be. Bad news coming around all around me. I need things to keep me busy from thinking about it, and the only things I can think of is games and friends. This late at night, there really is no one to turn to for help, so I just play games. I am not even sure if any of this makes sense, my logic is slowly deteriorating. Damn I need sleep. I want to say everything in my head, but it's hard to put into words. It's just not fair. Not fair to either of us. Why must this be happening. I spent my recent time just thinking about my future, thinking about the past. I hate the present. This is probably the worst sleeping pattern I've ever had. I need to do so many things.. I need to fix all that I can. I need to get a job. I need to focus on my classes which I'll probably never use because of my change of majors. This is killing me slowly. I think about the past day and I really can't handle it. There is a pain in my chest that won't go away. It is ridiculous that I have to vent through my blog, but it's all I can do. No one to talk to right now. I wish I still kept in touch with my 'vent' friends. I've been meaning to update my blog but there was just too much happening. It's incredible how one moment of my life, I thought things were going good, and in an hour, it all goes down the drain. Life is incredible, it is a wondrous thing.
'Jason Mraz - Lucky' makes me sad but I can't stop listening to it. I guess I was just lucky as well. Music is interesting, it's amazing how some songs just fit into your life, or current situation.
Funny how things turn out huh? We fought so hard to keep it going. The beginning, middle, and now, possibly the end. The long inbetweens will be something I'll always cherish. I'll tell you everything soon. Everything. I will not hold back on that very day.
I couldn't find a picture that fit the mood. I was going to make one, but I realized I haven't installed photoshop yet. Hah.
edit: I scrolled down to the picture, and surely enough, it still put a smile on my face.
