UGH.

I'm just tired of everything.

Everything happening right now... it's just becoming too much to handle.

School.
I have no idea what the FUCK I want to do with my life. I have no... DIRECTION that I want to go. Nothing seems to interest me, and the ones that do seem like it'll just be momentary. Like graphic design; it does interest me, but I begin to wonder, do I even have the talent for it? I mean I have all these ideas in my head but when I put it down on paper.. it just does not come out like I imagined it. My future.... ugh.

Life.
Everything is just stacking up. Everything is starting to get annoying. For instance, my desktop; what the FUCK is WRONG with my DESKTOP?! I've tried EVERYTHING. WHY wont it just WORK like it is supposed to?! That's just stressing the HELL out of me. I think this is the main reason I am starting to burst. GOD. And the things that I do.. how did this even happen. There are only three options that seem to fill up my day: eat, pc, sagoo. What the hell. I can only go to PC and play sagoo for so long.. I'm just tired of it.

I am trying to just live life as it comes, that was always my 'motto'. But now I'm starting to think I was just pushing the future further and further away.. as in trying to not worry about it. Just trying to pretend the future isn't so.. bleh. But it's coming up fast and.. eff. Eff. EFF.

Relationships.
I had a good number of friends that I would always talk to. Always. I'm not saying I had hundreds or even twenty.. but it was a lot more than now. Now I only have a handful of people that I talk to. I wonder how this happened. There were a few people that I would talk to for hours almost every day. Now maybe 80% of those people I don't even talk to anymore. Not even a 'hello' or 'how are you doing?' in facebook or anything. How did I spend most of my adolescent life talking to these people and just lose contact with them in just a couple of years. Is it my fault? Is it theirs? Am I just not that memorable? (lol). And now.. I feel as though I'm losing even more friends. Sigh. I wont even start with girls.


Maybe this is just today that I'm feeling all depressed, or not even today, just NOW.

I drank a bottle of Bluemoon because I was feeling like garbage. Perhaps it is my alcoholic emotion that is speaking. Or perhaps not. But fear not! No matter how bad things get, I refuse to give up and do some bodily harm to myself. That's just silly talk.

I am hungry and tired now. Goodbye.